All
men
have
heard
of
the
Mormon
Bible,
but
few
except
the
"elect"
have
seen
it, or,
at
least, taken
the
trouble
to
read it. I brought
away
a
copy
from
Salt
Lake.
The
book
is
a
curiosity
to
me,
it
is
such
a
pretentious
affair,
and
yet
so
"slow,"
so
sleepy;
such
an
insipid
mess
of
inspiration.
It
is
chloroform
in
print.
If
Joseph
Smith composed
this
book,
the
act
was
a miracle—keeping
awake
while
he
did
it
was,
at
any
rate.
If
he, according
to
tradition, merely
translated
it
from
certain
ancient
and
mysteriously-engraved
plates
of
copper,
which
he
declares
he
found
under
a stone,
in
an
out-of-the-way locality,
the
work
of
translating
was
equally a miracle,
for
the
same
reason.
The
book
seems
to
be
merely a prosy
detail
of
imaginary
history,
with
the
Old
Testament
for
a model;
followed
by
a
tedious
plagiarism
of
the
New
Testament.
The
author labored
to
give
his
words
and
phrases
the
quaint,
old-fashioned
sound
and
structure
of
our
King
James's
translation
of
the
Scriptures;
and
the
result
is
a mongrel—half
modern
glibness,
and
half
ancient
simplicity
and
gravity.
The
latter
is
awkward
and
constrained;
the
former
natural,
but
grotesque
by
the
contrast. Whenever
he
found
his
speech
growing
too
modern—which
was
about
every
sentence
or
two—he
ladled
in
a
few
such
Scriptural
phrases
as
"exceeding sore," "and
it
came
to
pass," etc.,
and
made
things
satisfactory
again. "And
it
came
to
pass"
was
his
pet.
If
he
had left
that
out,
his
Bible
would
have
been
only
a pamphlet.
The
title-page reads
as
follows: "Hid up"
is
good.
And
so
is
"wherefore"—though
why
"wherefore"?
Any
other
word
would
have
answered
as
well—though—in
truth
it
would
not
have
sounded
so
Scriptural.
Next
comes:
Some
people
have
to
have
a
world
of
evidence
before
they
can
come
anywhere
in
the
neighborhood
of
believing
anything;
but
for
me,
when
a
man
tells
me
that
he
has "seen
the
engravings
which
are
upon
the
plates,"
and
not
only
that,
but
an
angel
was
there
at
the
time,
and
saw
him
see
them,
and
probably
took
his
receipt
for
it, I
am
very
far
on
the
road
to
conviction,
no
matter
whether
I
ever
heard
of
that
man
before
or
not,
and
even
if
I
do
not
know
the
name
of
the
angel,
or
his
nationality
either.
Next
is
this:
And
when
I
am
far
on
the
road
to
conviction,
and
eight
men,
be
they
grammatical
or
otherwise,
come
forward
and
tell
me
that
they
have
seen
the
plates
too;
and
not
only
seen
those
plates
but
"hefted" them, I
am
convinced. I
could
not
feel
more
satisfied
and
at
rest
if
the
entire
Whitmer
family
had testified.
The
Mormon
Bible
consists
of
fifteen
"books"—being
the
books
of
Jacob, Enos, Jarom, Omni, Mosiah, Zeniff, Alma, Helaman, Ether, Moroni,
two
"books"
of
Mormon,
and
three
of
Nephi.
In
the
first
book
of
Nephi
is
a
plagiarism
of
the
Old
Testament,
which
gives
an
account
of
the
exodus
from
Jerusalem
of
the
"children
of
Lehi";
and
it
goes
on
to
tell
of
their
wanderings
in
the
wilderness,
during
eight
years,
and
their
supernatural
protection
by
one
of
their
number, a
party
by
the
name
of
Nephi.
They
finally reached
the
land
of
"Bountiful,"
and
camped
by
the
sea.
After
they
had
remained
there
"for
the
space
of
many
days"—which
is
more
Scriptural
than
definite—Nephi
was
commanded
from
on
high
to
build a
ship
wherein
to
"carry
the
people
across
the
waters."
He
travestied Noah's ark—but
he
obeyed
orders
in
the
matter
of
the
plan.
He
finished
the
ship
in
a single day,
while
his
brethren stood
by
and
made
fun
of
it—and
of
him, too—"saying,
our
brother
is
a fool,
for
he
thinketh
that
he
can
build a ship."
They
did
not
wait
for
the
timbers
to
dry,
but
the
whole
tribe
or
nation
sailed
the
next
day.
Then
a
bit
of
genuine
nature
cropped out,
and
is
revealed
by
outspoken Nephi
with
Scriptural
frankness—they
all
got
on
a spree! They, "and
also
their
wives, began
to
make
themselves
merry, insomuch
that
they
began
to
dance,
and
to
sing,
and
to
speak
with
much
rudeness; yea,
they
were
lifted
up
unto
exceeding
rudeness." Nephi tried
to
stop
these
scandalous
proceedings;
but
they
tied
him
neck
and
heels,
and
went
on
with
their
lark.
But
observe
how
Nephi
the
prophet
circumvented
them
by
the
aid
of
the
invisible
powers:
Then
they
untied
him.
Equipped
with
their
compass,
these
ancients
appear
to
have
had
the
advantage
of
Noah.
Their
voyage
was
toward
a "promised land"—the
only
name
they
give
it.
They
reached
it
in
safety.
Polygamy
is
a
recent
feature
in
the
Mormon
religion,
and
was
added
by
Brigham
Young
after
Joseph
Smith's death.
Before
that,
it
was
regarded
as
an
"abomination."
This
verse
from
the
Mormon
Bible
occurs
in
Chapter
II.
of
the
book
of
Jacob: However,
the
project
failed—or
at
least
the
modern
Mormon
end
of
it—for Brigham "suffers" it.
This
verse
is
from
the
same
chapter:
The
following
verse
(from
Chapter
IX.
of
the
Book
of
Nephi)
appears
to
contain
information
not
familiar
to
everybody:
In
order
that
the
reader
may
observe
how
much
more
grandeur
and
picturesqueness (as
seen
by
these
Mormon
twelve) accompanied
on
of
the
tenderest
episodes
in
the
life
of
our
Saviour
than
other
eyes
seem
to
have
been
aware
of, I quote
the
following
from
the
same
"book"—Nephi:
And
what
else
would
they
be
likely
to
consist
of?
The
Book
of
Ether
is
an
incomprehensible
medley
of
if
"history,"
much
of
it
relating
to
battles
and
sieges
among
peoples
whom
the
reader
has possibly
never
heard
of;
and
who
inhabited
a
country
which
is
not
set
down
in
the
geography.
These
was
a
King
with
the
remarkable
name
of
Coriantumr,^^
and
he
warred
with
Shared,
and
Lib,
and
Shiz,
and
others,
in
the
"plains
of
Heshlon";
and
the
"valley
of
Gilgal";
and
the
"wilderness
of
Akish";
and
the
"land
of
Moran";
and
the
"plains
of
Agosh";
and
"Ogath,"
and
"Ramah,"
and
the
"land
of
Corihor,"
and
the
"hill Comnor,"
by
"the
waters
of
Ripliancum," etc., etc., etc. "And
it
came
to
pass,"
after
a
deal
of
fighting,
that
Coriantumr,
upon
making
calculation
of
his
losses, found
that
"there had been
slain
two
millions
of
mighty
men,
and
also
their
wives
and
their
children"—say 5,000,000
or
6,000,000
in
all—"and
he
began
to
sorrow
in
his
heart." Unquestionably
it
was
time.
So
he
wrote
to
Shiz,
asking
a
cessation
of
hostilities,
and
offering
to
give
up
his
kingdom
to
save
his
people. Shiz declined,
except
upon
condition
that
Coriantumr
would
come
and
let
him
cut
his
head
off
first—a
thing
which
Coriantumr
would
not
do.
Then
there
was
more
fighting
for
a season;
then
four
years
were
devoted
to
gathering
the
forces
for
a
final
struggle—after
which
ensued
a battle, which, I
take
it,
is
the
most
remarkable
set
forth
in
history,—except, perhaps,
that
of
the
Kilkenny
cats,
which
it
resembles
in
some
respects.
This
is
the
account
of
the
gathering
and
the
battle:
It
seems
a
pity
he
did
not
finish,
for
after
all
his
dreary
former
chapters
of
commonplace,
he
stopped
just
as
he
was
in
danger
of
becoming interesting.
The
Mormon
Bible
is
rather
stupid
and
tiresome
to
read,
but
there
is
nothing
vicious
in
its
teachings.
Its
code
of
morals
is
unobjectionable- -it
is
"smouched" [Milton]
from
the
New
Testament
and
no
credit
given.