Circe

James Joyce

 


 

Circe

THE CALLS: Wait, my love, and I'll be with you. THE ANSWERS: Round behind the stable. THE CHILDREN: Kithogue! Salute! THE CHILDREN: Where's the great light? CISSY CAFFREY: THE VIRAGO: Signs on you, hairy arse. More power the Cavan girl. LYNCH: So that? LYNCH: Pornosophical philotheology. Metaphysics in Mecklenburgh street! STEPHEN: We have shrewridden Shakespeare and henpecked Socrates. Even the allwisest Stagyrite was bitted, bridled and mounted by a light of love. LYNCH: Ba! STEPHEN: Anyway, who wants two gestures to illustrate a loaf and a jug? This movement illustrates the loaf and jug of bread or wine in Omar. Hold my stick. LYNCH: Damn your yellow stick. Where are we going? LYNCH: Which is the jug of bread? It skills not. That or the customhouse. Illustrate thou. Here take your crutch and walk. BLOOM: Fish and taters. N. g. Ah! BLOOM: Stitch in my side. Why did I run? BLOOM: What is that? A flasher? Searchlight. THE BELLS: Haltyaltyaltyall. THE GONG: Bang Bang Bla Bak Blud Bugg Bloo. THE MOTORMAN: Hey, shitbreeches, are you doing the hat trick? (A sinister figure leans on plaited legs against o'beirne's wall, a visage unknown, injected with dark mercury. From under a wideleaved sombrero the figure regards him with evil eye.) BLOOM: O BLOOM: Beware of pickpockets. Old thieves' dodge. Collide. Then snatch your purse. RUDOLPH: Second halfcrown waste money today. I told you not go with drunken goy ever. So you catch no money. RUDOLPH: Once! Mud head to foot. Cut your hand open. Lockjaw. They make you kaputt, Leopoldleben. You watch them chaps. BLOOM: Mamma! BLOOM: Molly! MARION: Nebrakada! Femininum! BLOOM: I can give you... I mean as your business menagerer... Mrs Marion... if you... THE SOAP: We're a capital couple are Bloom and I. He brightens the earth. I polish the sky. SWENY: Three and a penny, please. BLOOM: Yes. For my wife. Mrs Marion. Special recipe. BLOOM: Yes, ma'am? THE BAWD: Ten shillings a maidenhead. Fresh thing was never touched. Fifteen. There's no-one in it only her old father that's dead drunk. BRIDIE: Hatch street. Any good in your mind? BLOOM: I? When? You're dreaming. I never saw you. THE BAWD: Leave the gentleman alone, you cheat. Writing the gentleman false letters. Streetwalking and soliciting. Better for your mother take the strap to you at the bedpost, hussy like you. MRS BREEN: Mr... MRS BREEN: Mr Bloom! You down here in the haunts of sin! I caught you nicely! Scamp! TOM AND SAM: There's someone in the house with Dina There's someone in the house, I know, There's someone in the house with Dina Playing on the old banjo. MRS BREEN: You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part. You were always a favourite with the ladies. MRS BREEN: The dear dead days beyond recall. Love's old sweet song. RICHIE: Best value in Dub. RICHIE: Goodgod. Inev erate inall... MRS BREEN: Humbugging and deluthering as per usual with your cock and bull story. BLOOM: I want to tell you a little secret about how I came to be here. But you must never tell. Not even Molly. I have a most particular reason. BLOOM: Let's walk on. Shall us? MRS BREEN: Let's. THE BAWD: Jewman's melt! BLOOM: I mean, Leopardstown. And Molly won seven shillings on a three year old named Nevertell and coming home along by Foxrock in that old fiveseater shanderadan of a waggonette you were in your heyday then and you had on that new hat of white velours with a surround of molefur that Mrs Hayes advised you to buy because it was marked down to nineteen and eleven, a bit of wire and an old rag of velveteen, and I'll lay you what you like she did it on purpose... MRS BREEN: She did, of course, the cat! Don't tell me! Nice adviser! BLOOM: Because it didn't suit you one quarter as well as the other ducky little tammy toque with the bird of paradise wing in it that I admired on you and you honestly looked just too fetching in it though it was a pity to kill it, you cruel naughty creature, little mite of a thing with a heart the size of a fullstop. MRS BREEN: Too... BLOOM: Yes. And Molly was laughing because Rogers and Maggot O'Reilly were mimicking a cock as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses, the tea merchant, drove past us in a gig with his daughter, Dancer Moses was her name, and the poodle in her lap bridled up and you asked me if I ever heard or read or knew or came across... BLOOM: Coincidence too. They think it funny. Anything but that. Broad daylight. Trying to walk. Lucky no woman. THE LOITERERS: Jays, that's a good one. Glauber salts. O jays, into the men's porter. THE WHORES: Are you going far, queer fellow? How's your middle leg? Got a match on you? Eh, come here till I stiffen it for you. THE SHEBEENKEEPER: Purdon street. Shilling a bottle of stout. Respectable woman. We are the boys. Of Wexford. PRIVATE COMPTON: Say! What price the sergeantmajor? PRIVATE CARR: Bennett? He's my pal. I love old Bennett. The galling chain. And free our native land. BLOOM: Wildgoose chase this. Disorderly houses. Lord knows where they are gone. Drunks cover distance double quick. Nice mixup. Scene at Westland row. Then jump in first class with third ticket. Then too far. Train with engine behind. Might have taken me to Malahide or a siding for the night or collision. Second drink does it. Once is a dose. What am I following him for? Still, he's the best of that lot. If I hadn't heard about Mrs Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn't have gone and wouldn't have met. Kismet. He'll lose that cash. Relieving office here. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. What do ye lack? Soon got, soon gone. Might have lost my life too with that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. Can't always save you, though. If I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have been shot. Absence of body. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. What was he? Kildare street club toff. God help his gamekeeper. THE WREATHS: Sweet are the sweets. Sweets of sin. THE WATCH: Bloom. Of Bloom. For Bloom. Bloom. FIRST WATCH: Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance. THE GULLS: Kaw kave kankury kake. BLOOM: The friend of man. Trained by kindness. BOB DORAN: Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw. SECOND WATCH: Prevention of cruelty to animals. FIRST WATCH: Come. Name and address. FIRST WATCH: Proof. SECOND WATCH: An alibi. You are cautioned. THE DARK MERCURY: The Castle is looking for him. He was drummed out of the army. BLOOM: Gentlemen of the jury, let me explain. A pure mare's nest. I am a man misunderstood. I am being made a scapegoat of. I am a respectable married man, without a stain on my character. I live in Eccles street. My wife, I am the daughter of a most distinguished commander, a gallant upstanding gentleman, what do you call him, Majorgeneral Brian Tweedy, one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. Got his majority for the heroic defence of Rorke's Drift. FIRST WATCH: Regiment. A VOICE: Turncoat! Up the Boers! Who booed Joe Chamberlain? FIRST WATCH: Profession or trade. BLOOM: Well, I follow a literary occupation, author-journalist. In fact we are just bringing out a collection of prize stories of which I am the inventor, something that is an entirely new departure. I am connected with the British and Irish press. If you ring up... A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY: Moses, Moses, king of the jews, Wiped his arse in the Daily News. FIRST WATCH: The King versus Bloom. Call the woman Driscoll. THE CRIER: Mary Driscoll, scullerymaid! SECOND WATCH: Another! Are you of the unfortunate class? FIRST WATCH: What do you tax him with? MARY DRISCOLL: He made a certain suggestion but I thought more of myself as poor as I am. FIRST WATCH: The offence complained of? Did something happen? MARY DRISCOLL: He surprised me in the rere of the premises, Your honour, when the missus was out shopping one morning with a request for a safety pin. He held me and I was discoloured in four places as a result. And he interfered twict with my clothing. BLOOM: She counterassaulted. Li li poo lil chile Blingee pigfoot evly night Payee two shilly... BLOOM: A penny in the pound. MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Shame on him! MRS BELLINGHAM: He addressed me in several handwritings with fulsome compliments as a Venus in furs and alleged profound pity for my frostbound coachman Palmer while in the same breath he expressed himself as envious of his earflaps and fleecy sheepskins and of his fortunate proximity to my person, when standing behind my chair wearing my livery and the armorial bearings of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished sable, a buck's head couped or. He lauded almost extravagantly my nether extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the limit, and eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he said, he could conjure up. He urged me (stating that he felt it his mission in life to urge me) to defile the marriage bed, to commit adultery at the earliest possible opportunity. MRS BELLINGHAM: Me too. MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Me too. THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: Very much so! I'll make it hot for you. I'll make you dance Jack Latten for that. MRS BELLINGHAM: Tan his breech well, the upstart! Write the stars and stripes on it! MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Disgraceful! There's no excuse for him! A married man! BLOOM: All these people. I meant only the spanking idea. A warm tingling glow without effusion. Refined birching to stimulate the circulation. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. THE QUOITS: Jigjag. Jigajiga. Jigjag. THE NAMELESS ONE: Bareback riding. Weight for age. Gob, he organised her. FIRST WATCH: He is a marked man. Another girl's plait cut. Wanted: Jack the Ripper. A thousand pounds reward. THE BELLS: Heigho! Heigho! FIRST WATCH: Infernal machine with a time fuse. BLOOM: No, no. Pig's feet. I was at a funeral. PADDY DIGNAM: Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit. List, list, O list! BLOOM: The voice is the voice of Esau. FIRST WATCH: It is not in the penny catechism. PADDY DIGNAM: By metempsychosis. Spooks. A VOICE: O rocks. JOHN O'CONNELL: Burial docket letter number U. P. eightyfive thousand. Field seventeen. House of Keys. Plot, one hundred and one. PADDY DIGNAM: Pray for the repose of his soul. BLOOM: A man's touch. Sad music. Church music. Perhaps here. ZOE: Are you looking for someone? He's inside with his friend. BLOOM: Is this Mrs Mack's? BLOOM: Not I! ZOE: You both in black. Has little mousey any tickles tonight? ZOE: How's the nuts? BLOOM: Off side. Curiously they are on the right. Heavier, I suppose. One in a million my tailor, Mesias, says. BLOOM: Not likely. ZOE: I feel it. BLOOM: A talisman. Heirloom. ZOE: For Zoe? For keeps? For being so nice, eh? ZOE: You'll know me the next time. ZOE: And you know what thought did? ZOE: Go on. Make a stump speech out of it. THE CHIMES: Turn again, Leopold! Lord mayor of Dublin! AN ELECTOR: Three times three for our future chief magistrate! THE TORCHBEARERS: Hooray! COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK: Carried unanimously. BLOOM'S BOYS: The wren, the wren, The king of all birds, Saint Stephen's his day Was caught in the furze. A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER: That's the famous Bloom now, the world's greatest reformer. Hats off! A BELLHANGER: A classic face! He has the forehead of a thinker. THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR: I here present your undoubted emperor-president and king-chairman, the most serene and potent and very puissant ruler of this realm. God save Leopold the First! ALL: God save Leopold the First! THE PEERS: I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly worship. BLOOM: My subjects! We hereby nominate our faithful charger Copula Felix hereditary Grand Vizier and announce that we have this day repudiated our former spouse and have bestowed our royal hand upon the princess Selene, the splendour of night. TOM KERNAN: You deserve it, your honour. THE CHAPEL OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS: Hear! Hear! JOHN WYSE NOLAN: There's the man that got away James Stephens. A BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY: Bravo! AN OLD RESIDENT: You're a credit to your country, sir, that's what you are. AN APPLEWOMAN: He's a man like Ireland wants. BLOOM: My beloved subjects, a new era is about to dawn. I, Bloom, tell you verily it is even now at hand. Yea, on the word of a Bloom, ye shall ere long enter into the golden city which is to be, the new Bloomusalem in the Nova Hibernia of the future. THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH: Don't you believe a word he says. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the notorious fireraiser. His real name is Higgins. BLOOM: Shoot him! Dog of a christian! So much for M'Intosh! THE WOMEN: Little father! Little father! THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS: Clap clap hands till Poldy comes home, Cakes in his pocket for Leo alone. JIMMY HENRY: The Court of Conscience is now open. His Most Catholic Majesty will now administer open air justice. Free medical and legal advice, solution of doubles and other problems. All cordially invited. Given at this our loyal city of Dublin in the year I of the Paradisiacal Era. PADDY LEONARD: What am I to do about my rates and taxes? BLOOM: Pay them, my friend. PADDY LEONARD: Thank you. NOSEY FLYNN: Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance? J. J. O'MOLLOY: A Daniel did I say? Nay! A Peter O'Brien! NOSEY FLYNN: Where do I draw the five pounds? PISSER BURKE: For bladder trouble? BLOOM: CHRIS CALLINAN: What is the parallax of the subsolar ecliptic of Aldebaran? BLOOM: Pleased to hear from you, Chris. K. II. JOE HYNES: Why aren't you in uniform? BLOOM: When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the Austrian despot in a dank prison where was yours? BEN DOLLARD: Pansies? BLOOM: Embellish (beautify) suburban gardens. BEN DOLLARD: When twins arrive? BLOOM: Father (pater, dad) starts thinking. LARRY O'ROURKE: An eightday licence for my new premises. You remember me, sir Leo, when you were in number seven. I'm sending around a dozen of stout for the missus. CROFTON: This is indeed a festivity. ALEXANDER KEYES: When will we have our own house of keys? BLOOM: I stand for the reform of municipal morals and the plain ten commandments. New worlds for old. Union of all, jew, moslem and gentile. Three acres and a cow for all children of nature. Saloon motor hearses. Compulsory manual labour for all. All parks open to the public day and night. Electric dishscrubbers. Tuberculosis, lunacy, war and mendicancy must now cease. General amnesty, weekly carnival with masked licence, bonuses for all, esperanto the universal language with universal brotherhood. No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors. Free money, free rent, free love and a free lay church in a free lay state. O'MADDEN BURKE: Free fox in a free henroost. BLOOM: Mixed races and mixed marriage. LENEHAN: What about mixed bathing? FATHER FARLEY: He is an episcopalian, an agnostic, an anythingarian seeking to overthrow our holy faith. NOSEY FLYNN: Give us a tune, Bloom. One of the old sweet songs. I vowed that I never would leave her, She turned out a cruel deceiver. With my tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom. HOPPY HOLOHAN: Good old Bloom! There's nobody like him after all. PADDY LEONARD: Stage Irishman! LENEHAN: Plagiarist! Down with Bloom! THE MOB: Lynch him! Roast him! He's as bad as Parnell was. Mr Fox! DR MADDEN: Hypsospadia is also marked. In the interest of coming generations I suggest that the parts affected should be preserved in spirits of wine in the national teratological museum. DR CROTTHERS: I have examined the patient's urine. It is albuminoid. Salivation is insufficient, the patellar reflex intermittent. BLOOM: O, I so want to be a mother. A VOICE: Bloom, are you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David? BROTHER BUZZ: Then perform a miracle like Father Charles. BANTAM LYONS: Prophesy who will win the Saint Leger. A HOLLYBUSH: And in the devil's glen? THE ARTANE ORPHANS: You hig, you hog, you dirty dog! You think the ladies love you! THE PRISON GATE GIRLS: If you see Kay Tell him he may See you in tea Tell him from me. MASTIANSKY AND CITRON: Belial! Laemlein of Istria, the false Messiah! Abulafia! Recant! MESIAS: To alteration one pair trousers eleven shillings. THE FIRE BRIGADE: Pflaap! THE CITIZEN: Thank heaven! THE DAUGHTERS OF ERIN: Kidney of Bloom, pray for us Flower of the Bath, pray for us Mentor of Menton, pray for us Canvasser for the Freeman, pray for us Charitable Mason, pray for us Wandering Soap, pray for us Sweets of Sin, pray for us Music without Words, pray for us Reprover of the Citizen, pray for us Friend of all Frillies, pray for us Midwife Most Merciful, pray for us Potato Preservative against Plague and Pestilence, pray for us. ZOE: Talk away till you're black in the face. BLOOM: Laughing witch! The hand that rocks the cradle. ZOE: Babby! THE BUCKLES: Love me. Love me not. Love me. ZOE: Ladies first, gentlemen after. ZOE: Clap on the back for Zoe. STEPHEN: You remember fairly accurately all my errors, boasts, mistakes. How long shall I continue to close my eyes to disloyalty? Whetstone! THE CAP: Bah! THE CAP: Which? Finish. You can't. THE CAP: Which? FLORRY: They say the last day is coming this summer. KITTY: No! THE NEWSBOYS: Stop press edition. Result of the rockinghorse races. Sea serpent in the royal canal. Safe arrival of Antichrist. STEPHEN: A time, times and half a time. ALL: What? THE GRAMOPHONE: Jerusalem! Open your gates and sing Hosanna... KITTY-KATE: I forgot myself. In a weak moment I erred and did what I did on Constitution hill. I was confirmed by the bishop and enrolled in the brown scapular. My mother's sister married a Montmorency. It was a working plumber was my ruination when I was pure. ZOE-FANNY: I let him larrup it into me for the fun of it. FLORRY-TERESA: It was in consequence of a portwine beverage on top of Hennessy's three star. I was guilty with Whelan when he slipped into the bed. STEPHEN: In the beginning was the word, in the end the world without end. Blessed be the eight beatitudes. THE GASJET: Pooah! Pfuiiiiiii! ZOE: Who has a fag as I'm here? LYNCH: I'm not looking BLOOM: Granpapachi. But... VIRAG: Number two on the other hand, she of the cherry rouge and coiffeuse white, whose hair owes not a little to our tribal elixir of gopherwood, is in walking costume and tightly staysed by her sit, I should opine. Backbone in front, so to say. Correct me but I always understood that the act so performed by skittish humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. In a word. Hippogriff. Am I right? BLOOM: She is rather lean. VIRAG: We can do you all brands, mild, medium and strong. Pay your money, take your choice. How happy could you be with either... BLOOM: With...? BLOOM: The stye I dislike. BLOOM: Rosemary also did I understand you to say or willpower over parasitic tissues. Then nay no I have an inkling. The touch of a deadhand cures. Mnemo? BLOOM: I wanted then to have now concluded. Nightdress was never. Hence this. But tomorrow is a new day will be. Past was is today. What now is will then morrow as now was be past yester. BLOOM: Bee or bluebottle too other day butting shadow on wall dazed self then me wandered dazed down shirt good job I... THE MOTH: I'm a tiny tiny thing Ever flying in the spring Round and round a ringaring. Long ago I was a king Now I do this kind of thing On the wing, on the wing! Bing! FLORRY: Sing us something. Love's old sweet song. STEPHEN: No voice. I am a most finished artist. Lynch, did I show you the letter about the lute? PHILIP SOBER: Take a fool's advice. All is not well. Work it out with the buttend of a pencil, like a good young idiot. Three pounds twelve you got, two notes, one sovereign, two crowns, if youth but knew. Mooney's en ville, Mooney's sur mer, the Moira, Larchet's, Holles street hospital, Burke's. Eh? I am watching you. FLORRY: And the song? STEPHEN: Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. FLORRY: Are you out of Maynooth? You're like someone I knew once. ZOE: There was a priest down here two nights ago to do his bit of business with his coat buttoned up. You needn't try to hide, I says to him. I know you've a Roman collar. LYNCH: I hope you gave the good father a penance. Nine glorias for shooting a bishop. BLOOM: Poor man! BLOOM: How? KITTY: And Mary Shortall that was in the lock with the pox she got from Jimmy Pidgeon in the blue caps had a child off him that couldn't swallow and was smothered with the convulsions in the mattress and we all subscribed for the funeral. LYNCH: Three wise virgins. A VOICE: Hold that fellow with the bad breeches. THE FLYBILL: K. II. Post No Bills. Strictly confidential. Dr Hy Franks. HENRY: All is lost now. VIRAG'S HEAD: Quack! LYNCH: All one and the same God to her. LYNCH: He is. A cardinal's son. STEPHEN: Cardinal sin. Monks of the screw. THE CARDINAL: Conservio lies captured He lies in the lowest dungeon With manacles and chains around his limbs Weighing upwards of three tons. O, the poor little fellow Hihihihihis legs they were yellow He was plump, fat and heavy and brisk as a snake But some bloody savage To graize his white cabbage He murdered Nell Flaherty's duckloving drake. I'm suffering the agony of the damned. By the hoky fiddle, thanks be to Jesus those funny little chaps are not unanimous. If they were they'd walk me off the face of the bloody globe. THE DOORHANDLE: Theeee! ZOE: The devil is in that door. ZOE: Do as you're bid. Here! BELLA: My word! I'm all of a mucksweat. BLOOM: Yes. Partly, I have mislaid... BLOOM: Yes. Yo. THE HOOF: Smell my hot goathide. Feel my royal weight. THE HOOF: If you bungle, Handy Andy, I'll kick your football for you. BLOOM: Not to lace the wrong eyelet as I did the night of the bazaar dance. Bad luck. Hook in wrong tache of her... person you mentioned. That night she met... Now! BELLO: Dungdevourer! KITTY: Don't be too hard on her, Mr Bello. Sure you won't, ma'amsir. BLOOM: Don't be cruel, nurse! Don't! BELLO: Hold him down, girls, till I squat on him. ZOE: Yes. Walk on him! I will. FLORRY: I will. Don't be greedy. KITTY: No, me. Lend him to me. BLOOM: Miriam. Black. Demimondaine. BLOOM: Don't ask me! Our mutual faith. Pleasants street. I only thought the half of the... I swear on my sacred oath... BLOOM: Thank you, mistress. A BIDDER: A florin. THE LACQUEY: Barang! A VOICE: One and eightpence too much. CHARLES ALBERTA MARSH: Must be virgin. Good breath. Clean. BLOOM: Eccles street... BLOOM: I was indecently treated, I... Inform the police. Hundred pounds. Unmentionable. I... BELLO: Would if you could, lame duck. A downpour we want not your drizzle. BLOOM: To drive me mad! Moll! I forgot! Forgive! Moll... We... Still... SLEEPY HOLLOW: Rip van Wink! Rip van Winkle! MILLY: My! It's Papli! But, O Papli, how old you've grown! BLOOM: They... I... BLOOM: Ten and six. The act of low scoundrels. Let me go. I will return. I will prove... A VOICE: Swear! BELLO: As a paying guest or a kept man? Too late. You have made your secondbest bed and others must lie in it. Your epitaph is written. You are down and out and don't you forget it, old bean. THE NYMPH: Mortal! You found me in evil company, highkickers, coster picnicmakers, pugilists, popular generals, immoral panto boys in fleshtights and the nifty shimmy dancers, La Aurora and Karini, musical act, the hit of the century. I was hidden in cheap pink paper that smelt of rock oil. I was surrounded by the stale smut of clubmen, stories to disturb callow youth, ads for transparencies, truedup dice and bustpads, proprietary articles and why wear a truss with testimonial from ruptured gentleman. Useful hints to the married. THE NYMPH: I do. You bore me away, framed me in oak and tinsel, set me above your marriage couch. Unseen, one summer eve, you kissed me in four places. And with loving pencil you shaded my eyes, my bosom and my shame. THE NYMPH: During dark nights I heard your praise. BLOOM: You understood them? THE YEWS: Ssh! THE WATERFALL: Poulaphouca Poulaphouca Poulaphouca Poulaphouca. THE ECHO: Sham! THE ECHO: Fool! THE WATERFALL: Poulaphouca Poulaphouca Phoucaphouca Phoucaphouca. BLOOM: I was precocious. Youth. The fauna. I sacrificed to the god of the forest. The flowers that bloom in the spring. It was pairing time. Capillary attraction is a natural phenomenon. Lotty Clarke, flaxenhaired, I saw at her night toilette through illclosed curtains with poor papa's operaglasses: The wanton ate grass wildly. She rolled downhill at Rialto bridge to tempt me with her flow of animal spirits. She climbed their crooked tree and I... A saint couldn't resist it. The demon possessed me. Besides, who saw? STAGGERING BOB: (LARGE TEARDROPS ROLLING FROM HIS PROMINENT EYES, SNIVELS) Me. Me see. THE DUMMYMUMMY: Bbbbblllllblblblblobschbg! BLOOM: Done. Prff! THE VOICE OF FLORRY: Here. BLOOM: It overpowers me. The warm impress of her warm form. Even to sit where a woman has sat, especially with divaricated thighs, as though to grant the last favours, most especially with previously well uplifted white sateen coatpans. So womanly, full. It fills me full. THE WATERFALL: THE YEWS: Ssh! Sister, speak! THE BUTTON: Bip! THE SLUTS: O, Leopold lost the pin of his drawers He didn't know what to do, To keep it up, To keep it up. BELLA: You'll know me the next time. BELLA: I know you, canvasser! Dead cod! BLOOM: I saw him, kipkeeper! Pox and gleet vendor! ZOE: Forfeits, a fine thing and a superfine thing. ZOE: Give a thing and take it back God'll ask you where is that You'll say you don't know God'll send you down below. BLOOM: There is a memory attached to it. I should like to have it. STEPHEN: To have or not to have that is the question. FLORRY: And me? STEPHEN: The fox crew, the cocks flew, The bells in heaven Were striking eleven. 'Tis time for her poor soul To get out of heaven. BLOOM: This is yours. STEPHEN: Lucifer. Thanks. BLOOM: That is one pound six and eleven. One pound seven, say. STEPHEN: Doesn't matter a rambling damn. BLOOM: No, but... ZOE: It was a commercial traveller married her and took her away with him. STEPHEN: Lamb of London, who takest away the sins of our world. ZOE: Is he hungry? Hangende Hunger, Fragende Frau, Macht uns alle kaputt. FATHER DOLAN: Any boy want flogging? Broke his glasses? Lazy idle little schemer. See it in your eye. DON JOHN CONMEE: Now, Father Dolan! Now. I'm sure that Stephen is a very good little boy! ZOE: What day were you born? STEPHEN: Thursday. Today. BLOOM: Wrong. BLACK LIZ: Gara. Klook. Klook. Klook. ZOE: I see, says the blind man. Tell us news. FLORRY: What? LENEHAN: Ho! What do I here behold? Were you brushing the cobwebs off a few quims? LENEHAN: A good night's work. BLOOM: Thank you, sir. Yes, sir. Madam Tweedy is in her bath, sir. BELLA: What? What is it? MARION: Let him look, the pishogue! Pimp! And scourge himself! I'll write to a powerful prostitute or Bartholomona, the bearded woman, to raise weals out on him an inch thick and make him bring me back a signed and stamped receipt. BOYLAN: (clasps himself) Here, I can't hold this little lot much longer. (he strides off on stiff cavalry legs) BELLA, ZOE, FLORRY, KITTY: Ho ho! Ha ha! Hee hee! ZOE: Before you're twice married and once a widower. BLOOM: Lapses are condoned. Even the great Napoleon when measurements were taken next the skin after his death... FREDDY: Ah, ma, you're dragging me along! SUSY: Mamma, the beeftea is fizzing over! And they call me the jewel of Asia! BELLA: None of that here. Come to the wrong shop. LYNCH: Let him alone. He's back from Paris. THE WHORES: Bravo! Parleyvoo! STEPHEN: Mark me. I dreamt of a watermelon. ZOE: Go abroad and love a foreign lady. LYNCH: Across the world for a wife. FLORRY: Dreams goes by contraries. BLOOM: I say, look... THE CROWD: Card of the races. Racing card! Ten to one the field! Tommy on the clay here! Tommy on the clay! Ten to one bar one! Ten to one bar one! Try your luck on Spinning Jenny! Ten to one bar one! Sell the monkey, boys! Sell the monkey! I'll give ten to one! Ten to one bar one! THE GREEN LODGES: Soft day, sir John! Soft day, your honour! STEPHEN: Hark! Our friend noise in the street. PRIVATE CARR, PRIVATE COMPTON AND CISSY CAFFREY: Yet I've a sort a Yorkshire relish for... BLOOM: Who'll...? THE PIANOLA: Two young fellows were talking about their girls, girls, girls, Sweethearts they'd left behind... HOURS: You may touch my. CAVALIERS: May I touch your? HOURS: O, but lightly! CAVALIERS: O, so lightly! THE PIANOLA: My little shy little lass has a waist. THE BRACELETS: Heigho! Heigho! ZOE: I'm giddy! MAGINNI: Boulangčre! Les ronds! Les ponts! Chevaux de bois! Escargots! THE PIANOLA: Best, best of all, Baraabum! KITTY: (JUMPS UP) O, they played that on the hobbyhorses at the Mirus bazaar! THE PIANOLA: My girl's a Yorkshire girl. ZOE: Yorkshire through and through. Come on all! THE PIANOLA: Though she's a factory lass And wears no fancy clothes. TUTTI: Encore! Bis! Bravo! Encore! SIMON: Think of your mother's people! STEPHEN: Dance of death. STEPHEN: Ho! THE CHOIR: Liliata rutilantium te confessorum... Iubilantium te virginum... THE MOTHER: Who saved you the night you jumped into the train at Dalkey with Paddy Lee? Who had pity for you when you were sad among the strangers? Prayer is allpowerful. Prayer for the suffering souls in the Ursuline manual and forty days' indulgence. Repent, Stephen. STEPHEN: The ghoul! Hyena! THE MOTHER: I pray for you in my other world. Get Dilly to make you that boiled rice every night after your brainwork. Years and years I loved you, O, my son, my firstborn, when you lay in my womb. STEPHEN: No! No! No! Break my spirit, all of you, if you can! I'll bring you all to heel! THE GASJET: Pwfungg! BLOOM: Stop! BELLA: Police! A WHORE: He tore his coat. BELLA: Do you want me to call the police? STEPHEN: Addressed her in vocative feminine. Probably neuter. Ungenitive. VOICES: No, he didn't. I seen him. The girl there. He was in Mrs Cohen's. What's up? Soldier and civilian. CISSY CAFFREY: I was in company with the soldiers and they left me to do—you know, and the young man run up behind me. But I'm faithful to the man that's treating me though I'm only a shilling whore. VOICES: Shes faithfultheman. CISSY CAFFREY: Yes, to go with him. And me with a soldier friend. PRIVATE COMPTON: He doesn't half want a thick ear, the blighter. Biff him one, Harry. PRIVATE COMPTON: Biff him, Harry. BIDDY THE CLAP: Did you hear what the professor said? He's a professor out of the college. CUNTY KATE: I did. I heard that. BIDDY THE CLAP: He expresses himself with such marked refinement of phraseology. CUNTY KATE: Indeed, yes. And at the same time with such apposite trenchancy. My methods are new and are causing surprise. To make the blind see I throw dust in their eyes. PRIVATE COMPTON: Eh, Harry, give him a kick in the knackers. Stick one into Jerry. PRIVATE CARR: I don't give a bugger who he is. PRIVATE COMPTON: We don't give a bugger who he is. STEPHEN: I seem to annoy them. Green rag to a bull. BIDDY THE CLAP: One immediately observes that he is of patrician lineage. THE VIRAGO: Green above the red, says he. Wolfe Tone. THE BAWD: The red's as good as the green. And better. Up the soldiers! Up King Edward! May the God above Send down a dove With teeth as sharp as razors To slit the throats Of the English dogs That hanged our Irish leaders. I bear no hate to a living thing, But I love my country beyond the king. THE CROPPY BOY: Horhot ho hray hor hother's hest. On coronation day, on coronation day, O, won't we have a merry time, Drinking whisky, beer and wine! PRIVATE CARR: Here. What are you saying about my king? PRIVATE CARR: Who wants your bleeding money? STEPHEN: Aha! I know you, gammer! Hamlet, revenge! The old sow that eats her farrow! STEPHEN: How do I stand you? The hat trick! Where's the third person of the Blessed Trinity? Soggarth Aroon? The reverend Carrion Crow. A ROUGH: Our men retreated. PRIVATE COMPTON: Go it, Harry. Do him one in the eye. He's a proboer. STEPHEN: Did I? When? PRIVATE CARR: I'll do him in. CISSY CAFFREY: They're going to fight. For me! CUNTY KATE: The brave and the fair. BIDDY THE CLAP: Methinks yon sable knight will joust it with the best. STEPHEN: The harlot's cry from street to street Shall weave Old Ireland's windingsheet. White thy fambles, red thy gan And thy quarrons dainty is. VOICES: Police! DISTANT VOICES: Dublin's burning! Dublin's burning! On fire, on fire! THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE: To the devil which hath made glad my young days. THE VOICE OF ALL THE DAMNED: Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rof, Aiulella! ADONAI: Dooooooooooog! THE VOICE OF ALL THE BLESSED: Alleluia, for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth! ADONAI: Goooooooooood! (THE RETRIEVER, NOSING ON THE FRINGE OF THE CROWD, BARKS NOISILY.) STEPHEN: Stick, no. Reason. This feast of pure reason. THE CROWD: Let him up! Don't strike him when he's down! Air! Who? The soldier hit him. He's a professor. Is he hurted? Don't manhandle him! He's fainted! A HAG: What call had the redcoat to strike the gentleman and he under the influence. Let them go and fight the Boers! THE BAWD: Listen to who's talking! Hasn't the soldier a right to go with his girl? He gave him the coward's blow. FIRST WATCH: What's wrong here? SECOND WATCH: Who are you? Do you know him? SECOND WATCH: I don't want your instructions in the discharge of my duty. FIRST WATCH: Name and address. SECOND WATCH: Night, Mr Kelleher. SECOND WATCH: All right, Mr Kelleher. Good night. CORNY KELLEHER: I'll see to that. FIRST WATCH: O. I understand, sir. SECOND WATCH: That's all right, sir. FIRST WATCH: It was only in case of corporal injuries I'd have to report it at the station. SECOND WATCH: It's our duty. CORNY KELLEHER: Good night, men. BLOOM: I was just going home by Gardiner street when I happened to... THE HORSE: Hohohohohohoh! Hohohohome! BLOOM: No, in Sandycove, I believe, from what he let drop. BLOOM: No, no, no. I have his money and his hat here and stick. BLOOM: Good night. I'll just wait and take him along in a few... BLOOM: Night. Who... drive... Fergus now And pierce... wood's woven shade?... ... shadows... the woods ... white breast... dim sea.